Thursday, October 9, 2014

Looks Like a Long Winter

   
8:20 am this morning, from our front door
     This morning I listened to a podcast by Jonathan Fields, interviewing Erin Moon, who, 10 years into her marriage dealt with the cancer illness and death of her husband. It put my own life into perspective. I realized I have no life apart from Rick. I don't have friends I do things with, I don't have anything I'm doing on my own. Rick and I do everything together, and I do nothing without him, So where would that leave me?

     I decided it may be good for me that he's going to be gone all the time, in a way. It will make me depend on myself for everything, force me to do things he's always done for me. When the propane goes out at 2 am and it's 10° outside, I'll be the one going to pull the skirting away from the RV and lay in the snow to change out the propane bottle. I'll be the one shoveling the walkways. I'll be doing parent/teacher conferences alone. I'll have to chase Ranger down if he gets loose. I'll be doing the grocery shopping alone. I'll be the one doing everything for my mom. I've always had him here to do all these things with or for me.


 But the Lord said, “My grace is all you need. Only when you are weak can everything be done completely by my power.” So I will gladly boast about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can stay in me. Yes, I am glad to have weaknesses if they are for Christ. I am glad to be insulted and have hard times. I am glad when I am persecuted and have problems, because it is when I am weak that I am really strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10


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2 comments:

  1. julesOctober 10, 2014 at 12:59 PM

    Hey girl, I'm here for you, you know, to let off steam if needed. Get Isaiah involved; he can shovel and chase dogs! He's old enough to step up and be the man of the house while Rick's gone. It might be good for him, responsibility. I'm sure he probably helps out now, but he'll be needed more when Rick is gone. I'm much like you, not many close friends, at least no one I can really talk to who would even have an inkling. DH hasn't been himself for a while now and it feels like there is no one who would understand, and somehow we women take on all the burdens. That verse helps. Thank you. Loves~

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    1. AnitaOctober 10, 2014 at 2:04 PM

      I can try with Isaiah... but he gets extremely flustered, and panicky at times... sudden changes and new things freak him out, too, so the chasing dogs is out. (he doesn't really like dogs, he avoids ours when he can.) He helps most of the time with little things when I ask him.
      If we had our own place I could carry on quite nicely. A house wouldn't require me to get up at 2 am when it's 10° and pull the siding away from the RV, and get down on the cold (soon to be snowy) ground to change the propane when it goes out in the middle of the night... and still be cold even with the heat on... it would be more secure, hopefully, too. I like being alone, that's not the problem, I just don't like the questionable reliability of this RV when it's just me and the boys. (as you know, Isaiah has a bedroom in mom's house, so he's not out here freezing at night... just me and the dogs, lol)

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